I'm really just little

... and someday I will remember!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

hoodrathoodratHOOCHIEMAMA

OH GOD I'M ALIVE.

i'm making a post because it's 1:42 am and i'm not asleep and i should be, and i'm just worrying about dumbass shit i shouldn't be worrying about. they include:

- my stupid stupid board game i'm making for school. it's a pirate memory game. called "remembarrr!" i fucking hate pirates. the only good thing about it is the name, and i didn't even come up with that. or the whole idea of a less piratey pirate memory game. oh fuck. i should've just went for "snakes and snakes," if i'm going to waste my time designing board games from little britain sketches.
- the fact that i have like, month-overdue library books. i only think about them when there's NO WAY i can return them. like when it's 1:42 in the morning.
- my passive-agressive desperation makes me really obsessive and pathetic. figure that one out. basically, i just wish i didn't have standards sometimes. VAGUE VAGUE VAGUE. (I'M TALKING ABOUT BOYS IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE.) i could be a huge slut if i wanted to be! like when that carnie was all "i would be all over you if i wasn't married," i could've said, "OH LOL I DON'T CARE LET'S DO IT." BUT I DIDN'T. A BLESSING AND A CURSE, THESE MORALS.
- i need a haircut so badly. my awful grown out stupid hair makes everything else about my appearance look stupid. i can't look hot with my bangs pinned back. SHALLOW.
- i spend too much money on awful awful food.
- WHAT AM I GOING TO DO AFTER SCHOOL AHHH OH SHIT. what if i don't get a job? i'll be crushed. a lot.
- can i go on living my mac-centric life without osx leopard?
- i need a winter coat that i can love.
- i miss tim horton's butternut squash soup.
- i haven't had an egg roll in years.
- I CAN'T TELL IF I'M LOSING OR GAINING WEIGHT.
- i don't have time to buy avacados to make guacamole. when am i going to by avacados. oh shit, i was avacados RIGHT. NOW.

THIS SHIT KEEPS ME AWAKE AT NIGHT.

and can i just say that walking from baba's, to the the china garden, to some house somewhere (?) to MCDONALDS, to the 24 HOUR NEEDS, and then BACK TO THE HUTCH with newly aquired chips/iced tea/jersey milk bar is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE IDEA? especially in crazy mod boots. every time i saw a car i wished they'd stop and offer me a drive home. i sat down on the little garden wall in front of mcdonalds and made a drunken promise to move to toronto. i lost a devil horn headband, and then found it without realizing i'd lost it in the first place. i yelled "IM HUNGRY" to some guy outside dinos. fuck. i was hungry.
so it was a terrible idea, but it made for ~*HiLaRiOuS tImEs*~ so i'm kinda glad i did. but my feet still hurt.